when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize
