i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
