Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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