I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
