why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize