I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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