I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
you guys were way drunker than both of me
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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