we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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