We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
