Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Never underestimate the power of titties
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