If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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