Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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