She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
