Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
