i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
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