it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
what day is it and did you see me today?
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Randomize
