your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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