Pants 0. Shit 1.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
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