he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
