You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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