Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
i think my cat just said my name.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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