What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
