i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I haven't been this sober since birth.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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