I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
