shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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