it wasn't lemon gatorade
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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