remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
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