in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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