i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Oh god it's open bar.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
