Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
