another moral hangover. fuck.
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
