I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
