Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
