I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
