i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
