Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
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