Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
