Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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