i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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