rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
