i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
