woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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