You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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