just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
