We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
