and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
