a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Randomize