Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize