I wanna bring you to show and tell
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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