Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
