we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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