Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
