and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
