Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Randomize
