My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
