youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
