and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
