Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
