YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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