Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
