we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
