Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
