An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
