i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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