we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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