hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Bring me that man meat
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
