U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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