What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Randomize
